"I am very humbled to be in the presence of so many world-class wieners" - The Mexican Chorizo [the new contestant in the Milwaukee Brewers sausage race.]
"I asked for strength that I might achieve;
I was made weak that I might learn to humbly obey.
I asked for health that I might do greater things;
I was given infirmity that I might do better things.
I asked for riches that I might be happy;
I was given poverty that I might be wise.
I asked for power that I might have the praise of men;
I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God.
I asked for all things that I might enjoy life;
I was given life that I might enjoy all things.
I got nothing that I asked for,
But everything that I hoped for.
Almost despite myself my unspoken prayers were answered;
I am, among all men, most richly blessed." - Unknown Confederate Soldier
"What are all of them?" - Congressman Wesmoreland when asked on the Colbert Report to name the 10 Commandments. He co-sponsored a bill requiring the display of the 10 Commandments in the House and the Senate. Watch the *hilarious* interview here. He got three.
"I enjoy cocaine because it is a fun thing to do." - Congressman Wexler on the Colbert Report. See the interview here.